I watched her sleep. So calm, so peaceful, so beautiful.
I slid the blanket off her to reveal her bare back. I saw them. The scars.
I felt my heart crack.
It’s not like I enjoy hitting or hurting her. I just need to keep her under control. Make her remain faithful to me at all cost.
My dad wasn’t strong enough and he lost his life. His own wife killed him. My own mother. I can’t let that repeat itself with me.
She stirred and opened her eyes.
Such beautiful eyes! Eyes that seem to hypnotize me.
“shoot! Look away Niyi ” he cautioned himself.
” Ek’aro Okomi (good morning my husband) ”
I rolled out of the bed and went into the bathroom.
” Make me breakfast. I have to leave early ” I said before shutting the door.
I finished bathing, dressed up and went to the dining room. She hadn’t served the food yet and I was running late.
She came out about 45 minutes later with a tray. I was pissed already.
” What took you so long” I asked raising my voice
“ma binu(I’m sorry). I forgot that we’ve run out of eggs and I had to go out to buy ”
” You bought eggs for over an hour? ”
” it’s still early and shops weren’t open yet. I had to go far…
“Go far? Or went to see one of your numerous boyfriends? ” I shouted
” Okomi, I’m not cheating on you. I don’t have boyfriends…
“You now talk back at me? You are now comparing yourself to me ” I said slapping her
She fell to the ground. Crying.
I wanted to hit her again but the boys came in .
” Daddy stop beating mommy ” Seth said
” What did she do? ” Shawn asked
I looked at them and walked out without saying anything.
I got into the car and drive out.
Why do I think she’s cheating on me? I’m I insecure? I’m I jealous? But I can only feel these things if I love her which I’m certain I don’t. So what is my problem?
It hurts me when I hurt her.